Jason

I’ve literally only just realised I’ve been on T for over 2 years now. I’m hoping that this may be that milestone in my life that I needed to reach for everything to finally fall into place. 

Things seem to be going well at the moment;
I’ve sorted out home life and I’m pretty chilled with my set up at the moment.
I’ve met a really amazing girl who I’m having a good time with. She doesn’t know for sure that I’m trans yet but I’ve beaten around the bush about it and I think I’ve made it kind of obvious but she doesn’t care and seems to be really accepting.
I’ve got an appointment at the GIC which I’m really hopeful will go well because I’ve been fucked about so much and tried so hard now that I think I’m deserving of a break and if not my GP is gonna come down on their arse.
My mood seems to have improved, I’m not sure if this is for real or just short term because of the above reasons but I’ll take it.
I’ve had some more work done on my sleeve and it looks fucking sick, I’ll get a photo or something at some point.

I really hope things keep going the way they are at the moment, I think the only realistic thing that could improve things would be for my bloody facial hair to push through faster, I will not give up hope that I will be able to grow a beard! Surgery would be the ultimate thing but it doesn’t matter how my life is going, my therapist will always be a cunt.

So done with these injections now, they hurt a lot more than they used to.

This is just gonna be a massive rant about my transition.

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I’m thinking about starting to make videos purely for my benefit really so I can document things without having to write massive essays but I figured talking about certain things could benefit other people maybe? I’ve been on T for just under 22 months now so if there’s anything you want to know then hit me up! I also live in the UK which I know some guys have queries about the NHS etc.

Cool.

Well my arm is red raw but I’ve got my half sleeve now.

Sitting there for 4 hours but totally worth it!

Lonely.

So it’s been decided I’m too ‘mentally unstable’ to go further with top surgery at the moment and I’m all like; yeah it’s because I have these things on my chest, when they’re gone I’ll be perfectly fine. Swear to god this process is vicious, I have to be happy in my skin to get what I want yet that would defeat the whole reason of me wanting to change it. Apparently volunteering or something is essential to, I’m not so sure working in Oxfam once a week for free is going to particularly lighten my mood but whatever. Hopefully my GP can appeal the decision and push it in the right direction yet again.

Hate the care system, I don’t know how half the things they make you do is at all relevant to wanting surgery and whilst I’m at it I’m sick to death of sitting in a room with three people telling me what I can and can’t do. I don’t particularly want an audience. 

I never rant about being trans but this has made me so angry/upset.

Rant over anyway!

Wedding tomorrow, always love a good reason to drink stupid amounts!