Grime all day everyday
Why does it always chuck it down when I have things to do?
My back hurts, I’m tired and I really don’t fancy being wet as well.
I find it absolutely baffling that people I don’t know are posting things about me all over Facebook especially when I don’t and never have had them added or even seen them about.
How can somebody who has never crossed me possibly have anything to say about me and the lifestyle I choose to live? Even more confusing to me is how can these people all be gay/lesbian or close friends with people who are and give somebody so strongly linked to that community so much shit? I’d understand slightly more if it was a straight person doing it but people who go to every pride? People who happen to be friends with an MTF who lives in the same town as me, how am I really all that different to her? More to the point how can she actually sit back and let these people give me so much abuse when she’s practically going through the same? I honestly just don’t get it.
I’m getting a bit sick of constantly having things said about me now and people posting videos, pictures and song lyrics saying ‘how appropriate’, how can these people honestly think they have even the slightest idea of what’s ‘appropriate’ to my life?
The thing that makes me most angry is all of this is happening is because I got a bit sick of somebody constantly using me and other people for money, being a psycho and trashing my house so told him to fuck off and he decided to out me to everybody, I didn’t go outing him as gay to people who don’t like gays just because I don’t like him any more and want him to be getting grief left, right and centre. No words can comprehend how I really feel about him. I just feel sorry for him, I’ll feel even more sorry for him when my brother gets his hands on him. Never met any one person who seems to be so content digging their own grave after so many people have told him to give it a rest.
A year and a half on testosterone. I never imagined I’d ever get to the point where I’d even say I was on testosterone let alone sitting here a year and a half later.
Time has gone so quickly and I guess so much has changed that I haven’t noticed and I’m still changing. It’s crazy to think 5 years ago I just came out and had these plans in my head that seemed impossible.
Getting my referral for chest surgery in 3 weeks, I can’t even believe I’m able to write any of this.
